I’m in a rut.
Running a business has so many perks: schedule flexibility, the ability to choose the type of work I want to do, no “boss” to report back to…and, it’s worth repeating again, schedule flexibility.
However, running a solo business also has its pitfalls: lack of structure, loneliness, little-to-no collaboration, and a general feeling of “laziness” even though I’m working harder than ever before.
Lately, I’m experiencing more of the pitfalls than the benefits. It sucks.
What do you like to do?
I was chatting with my friend and fellow business owner, Paul, about this yesterday. Paul runs a super successful pool business, so he’s extremely busy about 7-8 months of the year and virtually doesn’t work the remaining 4-5 months. He gets it.
Yesterday, Paul asked me, “What are your hobbies? What do you like to do?”
I honestly couldn’t answer him.
Mind = blown.
The first thing that came to mind was blogging and writing. However, as much as it pains me to say this, blogging is part of my job…and most days now, it FEELS like a job.
The second activity that came to mind was yoga. Of course, I love yoga and try to practice as often as I can, but teaching five classes a week doesn’t leave much time for practicing, so I’m lucky if I get on my mat twice a week.
All of the other things that came to mind after those seemed trivial: Watch Netflix? Drink wine? Scroll mindlessly through Instagram for funny memes? Play with my puppy?
These don’t feel like “hobbies” or interests that could turn into passions.
When you turn your passion into your job
Last year, I proudly proclaimed in a blog post announcing my career change, “I’m creating a career of my own choosing- a career doing all of the things I love.”
Sounds beautiful and amazing and wonderful, right?
And indeed it is (most of the time).
However, I never realized this would also turn into one of my greatest struggles.
I used to jump out of bed at 5 a.m. every day to write on this blog.
I used to stay at the yoga studio for hours after the 7:30 p.m. class let out practicing poses, and taking photos and videos of my progress.
Not anymore. Not for either of those hobbies. And not for a very long time.
It makes me sad, and it makes me feel lazy.
When it really comes down to it, I know the reason I feel a lack of passion for these two hobbies is because I’ve now turned them into my day job.
I *have* to write on this blog because it’s how clients find me, and how I stay connected to my community.
I *have* to practice yoga because I teach yoga and you can’t be a good teacher, unless you’re also a practitioner.
It feels like a Catch-22.
Could I go back to the way things were before?
Sure, I could get a day job and make blogging fun again…or I could stop teaching yoga and go back to being just a student, however I know those aren’t the answers.
I still find purpose in running my own business, and I find purpose in teaching yoga…however, I also need to re-find purpose and passion in my personal life.
I’m not entirely sure, but I think the answer lies somewhere else.
In search of a new hobby
In an effort to pull myself out of this rut, Paul suggested I find myself a new hobby — a new passion.
Easier said than done, of course, but he’s right.
Over the weekend, my boyfriend Tim who’s a big fan of golfing took me to the driving range to hit some balls for the very first time. I felt excited to be let in on his passion, and to learn something new.
It was so fun to do something I’ve literally never done before…to feel like a complete beginner, and even to feel kind of (okay, totally) sucky at something.
Check out this video to see one my first swings. Most importantly, note the look of pride on my face at the very end.
It was fun. It was challenging. It gave me energy.
Isn’t that what it’s all about?
So, maybe golf isn’t going to be my new passion, but it’s a start.
I’m on the search for some new hobbies to experiment with. I’m chasing that feeling; that high when you do something for the first time and go, “Yeah, I think I like this.”
Have any ideas for me? I’d love to hear your suggestions!
Have you ever turned your passions into your career? Have you experienced the same feelings I’m going through at the moment? I’d love to hear from you.
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