As I mentioned, I’m taking a creative writing course this semester. I’ll be sharing some tips and assignments throughout the semester.
One of the first things my professor mentioned was that first sentences are extremely important. They have to hook your reader and intrigue them to keep reading.
Our first assignment was to write 10 first sentences or “beginnings” of our own. Here’s what I came up with:
1. I leaned in for a kiss and felt the cold sting of rejection as Alex turned his head and said, “We need to talk.”
2. Amy stood in the airport, tears streaming down her face as she watched his body grow smaller and smaller as he blended into the crowd of travelers.
3. I only caught a glimpse of him across the crowded train station, but immediately I knew that he was the one.
4. Everyone thinks I have the perfect life. They don’t know my secret.
5. Emily and I had been best friends our entire lives until she did the unthinkable.
6. Seven shopping bags, a trip to Tiffany’s and an overdraft on my credit card later, I’ve finally come to the realization that I have a problem.
7. When I saw whose name was on the caller ID, I nearly dropped the phone.
8. She just has that classic Audrey Hepburn style of beauty that any girl would die for and she doesn’t even know it.
9. Even my private school, Ivy League education and Upper East Side upbringing could not have prepared me for this.
10. He was so gorgeous and perfect. If only he knew he’d be dead in a matter of minutes.
What do you think? Would you want to read on?
This assignment was way more difficult than I imagined it would be. It took me a good hour to write 10 quick sentences.
Try it yourself and share a sentence or two with me in the comments!
This sounds like a great course. I would definitely want to read on if those are the first sentences.
My sentences might be:
The dog ran ahead with a bounding enthusiasm she only wished she could feel too.
I don't know how I got to this point, but I'm glad I am here.
How are they?
Love it! You definitely have some great starts there — especially the one about Audrey Hepburn. That would draw me in immediately!
I think I'm going to love your creative writing course too, haha — I'm like the inspiration!
I love love love #10. I would definitely read on for more than a few of these. That assignment does sound difficult!
I'm taking a creative (travel) writing class right now too, and it's much harder than I expected.
I love #10, but more than a few of these would make me read on. It's surprisingly difficult to write that "hook" sentence, isn't it?
I'm taking a creative (travel) writing class right now and it's way more difficult than I expected.
What a great exercise! Looking forward to reading more of your blog!
These are just super! Number 2 spoke to me with its imagery. I was reminded of Robert Frost 🙂
Oooh, I love all of those! I would totally keep reading!!
I mean no discouragement, but I would like to offer some hopefully constructive criticism. What I notice in your sentences is a mishmash of styles, as though you haven't quite found your own voice yet. It's as though you're trying to fit your own thoughts into prefabricated formulas, and it tends to sound either cheesy or awkward.
Consider #1. A lot is going on in this sentence: we have 2 actions, a direct quote, and an emotion metaphor. It would be far more interesting as several sentences, but I do understand the assignment was to write just one. Furthermore, even though it's crowded in this sentence, there's some redundancy: we can see the rejection in the action, so it need not be stated. Also note the redundancy in #2: the crowd need not be described as "of travelers" because they're in an airport, unless of course it introduces some point of theme about the moment when so many strangers, all on the way to or from different places, briefly come together to form a single nondescript crowd, or something like that.
In #8 I see some conventions you really want to avoid. We all know that it's fairly good practice to begin in the middle of some action, but it is usually bad to begin in the middle of discourse. Avoid underspecifying with pronouns if you can, and don't use a qualifier like "just," because it presupposes knowledge that the reader does not have. And although it could be seen as an extreme way to put the reader 'in medias res,' it comes off as awkward because of the syntactic incongruities. The same occurs in #6 with the word "later;" it would be less awkward to begin thus: "After seven shopping bags…"
My advice to you is just to write as much as you can however you want, then go back and see how much you can get rid of (Strunk & White's notorious Rule 17). Being concise allows you to say more and draw attention to what's important by eliminating fluff and redundant description. Never feel bound by convention, and always go with your gut and your ear above what anyone tells you. Because at the end of the day, if you've written something that sounds fantastic but YOU wouldn't want to read it, then that would suck.
I absolutely loved all the starts. The one I enjoyed the most was number 1. I’ve always been the classic romantic type and hope to use my love of reading and writing to make my own classic romance.
🙂